I am not suicidal, but I do cut sometimes... (sorry, it b a thing.) i think it's a mastery over pain, and a reassurance that you're alive, that your emotional pain has'nt killed you in some way. pain is nothing, I could rip a knife through my flesh and it would be fine. I am immortal because my soul is immortal, I will live on even if I die. I'll have my afterlife, and then when judgement comes I will either go to heaven or hell, (I have chosen christ but who knows, maybe I'm wrong? I HAVE to entertain that idea if I don't want to lose my faith, and if I'm wrong fine, I fill burn to death forever in the fiery pits of hell, still supporting Jesus.) but the pain wakes you up a bit, and keeps you from being suicidal, from drowning in the dark throes of depression.